to the young, the old
those seeking, wandering, searching
there is nothing grand, nothing comprehensive
the only enlightening epiphany is this:
there is nothing behind the vale beyond what we have already placed there.

-KG

the man in front of me

his eye twitches
as does mine
his breath is my own

yet
can he sense the heaviness of my inhale?
does he feel the knot in my lower back?
the tightness in my elbow?

no
he can only tell what I allow my movements to tell
and what I tell serves only to feign control, normality, security
but...there's something about his stare

Suddenly
I am not what he analyzes
Suddenly
I am no one
Suddenly
I am not there
And I am not him
And he is not me

the question looses all meaning
language looses all meaning
there is no need for such grossly inadequate forms of communication
there is no communication

I am one
I am everything
Nothingness is an illusion
Death is an illusion

-KG

there's a hidden cave deep inside
an ancient altar awaiting
calling for a ritual
that will bring about my disincorporation from this self imposed reality
and hasten my reincorporation into the universe

the seams have loosened and I no longer know what 'save' means

-KG

I journey into the abyss tonight
and send a prayer out into the darkness
a vessel which has embarked on a quest
from the inner sanctum of my being

it lets out humbling cries
speaks of desperate hopes
seeks the answers to burning questions
submits to its crippling fears

it has a simple request
that I may enjoy a modicum of true rest
a droplet of water
from the infinitely flowing river of everlasting peace

-KG

I let you take me
Into your embrace
I resist
Why?
The child in me wants to dive in, to throw caution to the wind
But that is only because the child sees no need for caution
The adult in me fears, it fears so much
It knows what may lie ahead
Because its been down that bewildering and frustrating path many times
Only to see hope unfulfilled
Only to witness the death of dreams
The adult feels it knows better
It lectures to the child
But the child always seems to win
While the adult continues to suffer

I fear I know what will happen
But still I let you take me

-KG

you turn the knob and the pins settle into place
all safe now
i'm sure

as sure as i am that my tail bone will help me hang from trees

my words of logic-"we don't live there anymore," "people don't get robbed here"-enter into your inner locking network of secondary elaborations
the little boy with the big boy mic has his way

so what do we have here?
something vestigial or symptomatic?

is it the legacy of your father?
the young rebel who has become what it once detested
the sobering irony constantly emblazaned onto your retina

is it that you foolishly dared to love with reckless abandon?
they say that Virginia is for lovers...i can sense
within you the poignant grasp of the cruel joke
within you the rancor that Gilgamesh must have felt towards Ishtar

within me the growing lassitude towards your plight
within me...the wish that our bond consisted of water and not blood

-KG

they don't know what they're missing
not everything that shimmers is gold
but not everything that rusts is decayed...he knows he's not
the mirrors reflect this truth
the looks from strangers gives it legitimacy
his pen and pad give it shape and form
his loved ones give it voice and volume
his imagination gives it flesh


YET HE ONLY FEELS FLUORESCENT WARMTH FRICTION BETWEEN METAL AND PAPER BETWEEN PLASTIC AND HANDS AND HEARS ONLY THE
InCEsCENt                         WORk
OF                                      hiS
OnLy                                   ComPanIOn
In                                        ThiS
DesoLAte                            Room
mEchanIcallY                                      bRinging
hIs                                                       waywArd
menTal                                                StatE
bacK                                                    intO
Focus                                                                                         again
tick                                                                                               tock
tick                                                                                               tock
sound                                                                                         now
fading                                                                                         into
background                                                                               again


he reaches deep into his head, his heart, his soul
whatever feels most convenient
pulls out a bottle of that oh so sweet, indulgent fluid
and takes a few sips of reconciliation

they just don't know what they're missing

-KG

an inability to sleep has once again moved me to write
write what? there's nothing to write
a simple smile will suffice
a little chukle or two
and with it the knowledge, the realization of how utterly stupid and absurd life can be

-KG

this is a feisty one
it pulls my leg when I'm washing the dishes
it mocks my cognitive and linguistic capacities
why just the other day it accused me of being bland and unoriginal
I've made my petty attempts at retaining my pride
I even went so far as to simply point out the rather parasitic nature of its existence
a bit below the belt I admit
but if all's fair in love and war, then a good ole kick in the crotch is certainly nothing to be ashamed of
and when I finally show its face to the world, I can't tell if that's a small act of bravery or of acquisence

-KG

...90...(you know you have 100 more to go right?)
...91...(too much to go)
...92...(too...much)
...93...(you can't keep this up)
...94...(this is useless)

. . .(no)

...95...(its not)
...96...(you know you won't follow through, you fickle fuck)

...(just keep)

...97...(going)
...96...(stomach...burning...)
...97...(pain is)
...98...(nothing)
...99...(pain is)
...100...(everything)
...101...(only there)
...102...(to feed on)
...103...(its there to tell you to stop)
...104...(always)
...105...(step forward)
...106...(that's enough)
...107...(never)
...108...(cut yourself some slack)
...109...(step back)

...110...(never step back)

...111...(never step back)

...112...(never step back)

-KG